Little Goodbyes
by Before the petals fall
Summary: Love wasn't always kind or fair, but Lenalee had no choice but to deal with it, because if her beautiful childhood friend was happier this way, then so was she. Theme 1 for Yullen Week 2013—Halcyon.


**Disclaimer :** -man and its characters aren't mine.

**Warning : **English isn't my first language, so I apologize in advance for any forgotten mistake you may find!

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Lenalee Lee was a girl that was happy with what she had—never wanting more, never asking for anything, she just didn't feel the need to change things when they were this peaceful. She wasn't selfish.

She didn't have a lot of friends. Actually, she considered that she had two best friends, and that was all. Of course she knew other people but she was sure that no one could ever mean as much as they did to her.

The first one was Lavi. She'd known him since she was five. He was his neighbor, this strange redhead kid with an eye patch and no parents, only his grandfather. But who was she to judge? She too lost her parents when she was young. Maybe this was what drew them together and they soon found themselves to be friends.

Three years later, they met Yuu Kanda. He was Japanese and didn't speak a word of English so it was hard at first but no one else dared to approach him. The other kids even mocked him. So she and Lavi decided to be his friends. Kanda was a great guy but he was... a little harsh at times, so it was no wonder why they didn't make any more friends when he threw glares at everyone that dared to approach them.

Lenalee grew up with them. They were like her brothers—they did everything together. Kanda was the person she called when she got her first period and freaked out (it had been an awkward call since Kanda, being the Japanese imbecile he was, didn't know how to translate 'period' in English), Lavi was the one to carry her to the hospital when she broke both of her legs (a complicated story involving a real-sized figurine of a robot character from a video game, Komui, fire and hair), they were both here to comfort her when she broke up with her first boyfriend (a douche called Chaoji).

She watched them as they became men, watched them become the most handsome guys she knew, watched them as girls worshiped the ground they walked on.

They celebrated Christmas, New Year, Easter, and every holidays together, got drunk and threw up in Daisya's pool, got fired of their first job (actually only Kanda got fired but the other two just decided to quit after that), watched the sunset, traveled to China, France, the USA, Japan and back, had a car accident, and got stuck together in a public toilet.

Actually, this one was a funny story but this was not the point.

The point was that as she watched them (_them, them, them,_ lies, all lies because she was only looking at one them while the other watched her with a knowing sadness in his eye) grew up she decided that nothing could ever draw them apart because they were best friends after all.

One day as Kanda was petting his cat (his precious Mugen) and Lavi was braiding his hair because he was clearly suicidal, she thought, _these are the best days of my life._ _It's a terrible thing to know, but I know it._*****

She thought about every thing that could draw them apart (bickering, moving away, one stealing the other's girlfriend, hell, she even thought about one of them dying) but she found a solution for every problem.

So it came as a great surprise when Kanda started to spend less and less time with them.

Lenalee was greatly hurt by that, more than it she thought she would be, because the beautiful boy she had watched grow up and helped become a man was turning his back on her, while she loved hi—

No, she didn't, that was a silly thought, they were best friends and nothing more, and best friends should get this fluttery feeling in the pit of their stomach when they saw each other, should blush when the other looked at her, should pay extra attention to what they were wearing especially for him. Right?

It got to the point where they barely even saw him. When they would eat lunch together at school, he would be distant, often in his thoughts, not paying attention to them. And after school he would disappear to God knows where, and not answer when they tried to call him. He even had the nerve the give them an half-assed excuse every time like '_Sorry, I have to get food for Mugen_', '_The old man _(namely Tiedoll)_ wants us to spend time together_', '_I'm not feeling well_' the latter being the lamest excuse in the universe since Kanda hadn't even gotten a cold in all the years she had known him.

"_He's in love,_" Lavi said one day, "_he's seeing someone. It's obvious, Lena._"

Of course it was obvious, but _she was in love with him_ for crying out loud and she didn't want to admit the truth.

But the truth hit her right in the face to her one day because on that fateful day she opened her door and Kanda was here, tall, proud and handsome but next to him was—next to him was...

Allen Walker was a sweet guy, polite, kind, amusing, cute and friendly. Lenalee couldn't even bring herself to dislike him because he was such a great friend and a great person overall.

They were in love, Kanda and Allen, she could see it in the way they looked at each other, the way they talked, breathed, walked—she could see it everywhere and it hurt so much because she had lost to a total stranger who was _a guy_ and she now knew that even if they broke up she didn't have a chance with Kanda.

One day, as they were waiting for Lavi and Kanda to get to her house to watch a movie together, Allen had taken a nervous glance at her and then he had looked down, then—

"_I'm sorry, Lenalee,_" he had murmured. "_for Kanda. You're in love with him, aren't you?_"

The tears had fallen before she could even bring herself to think about what he said, it was just a reflex, because she loved Kanda so damn much.

But she didn't hate Allen because he was just perfect in a imperfect way for Kanda, he was what he wanted, what was the best for him, and she wasn't a selfish woman, she didn't want things that she didn't have, didn't ask for things she couldn't have, because even though her Halcyon days were over everyone was happier this way.

Except her, of course, but...

But...

But as she watched Kanda (her handsome childhood friend that she loved deeply) and Allen (that stranger that stole Kanda away from her but that she just couldn't hate) exchange their vows in front of their families and friends and God, she smiled, cried a little because life just wasn't fair ("_Weddings make me cry_," she shakily lied to a worried Miranda), but smiled nonetheless.

And when they kissed, she clapped twice as loud as the others.

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**I'm probably the last person to publish anything but I really wanted to do YW this year D:**

**Sorry, Lenalee. You're my baby and I love you, but I love Kanda and Allen even more.**

*** A fair warning : if you get that reference then I will want to marry you.**

**See you soon for the second theme! (Rating may go up at some point, who knows)**


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